forgive sounds good...but forget?

accept it like usual
nothing to be supprise of...
that day as usual i was walking to work
otw to work i met you
i look at you and wonder what will be your responds
and you ask me "working?"
i didn't answer you and just pass by instead
in my mind
i knew that you accompany her to work
that day went to Mcd at midnight 3am with friends
and that was the 1st time i saw you and her together....
my friends told me that i deserve a better one
but not him...
feel glad that you give me a lot of sweet memories that i never have
now i know why my friends always said that sweet memories does not last....
thanks to her who let me know the true you
i appreciate a lot the period
when i forget everything and stand besides you
appreciate the stupid things we do together like a couple...
thanks for everything.....
all the best for you and her.....

the truth

not more than one month
after valentine
everything had change
i didn't accept you
because of....many many things
i saw your FB post
how she called you
it seems like usual things for you
you know why i not allowed to called me pig
because i saw you called her the same word....
i rather you call my name that i wouldn't feel that i was same as other girls in your life
who u usually called pig...
at least i'm not the same like others
i found that i'm cheating myself
why am i that silly and stupid!!!!
i'm getting far from you
not like before
that day
i fall sick when working
feel weak and can't get up
not even can get up to do my work....
my face was like hell
this is my 1st time to fall a serious sick like that
that i also dunno why
they allowed me to rest & sleep
in the storeroom
after removing the heat from the body
my neck was red and swollen
i feel sick!!!
and why......
why i think of you...?
feel touched that my besties knew that i fall heavy sick
they come to my work place to see me
but i dunno coz i was still sleeping
from 4pm till 7pm
i woke up then my working friends told me
that you guys come and see me
and a cup of liang teh on the table for me
from my besties...
i was really touched...=')
but....
the 1st thing that i do when i woke up
is look at my phone
hoping that there is a msg from you like before
but....
its empty.....neither inbox nor call....
i was very disappointed....really disappointed!</3


the next day then i knew from friends that
u guys have been close together

a lot of news heard from my friends about you
u guys outing together
saying sweet words
and finally
i heard from my manager
you hold her hand....
FINALLY.......

faster than i thought
you and her together
that's what i expected earlier
why am i so stupid and still left a little trust on you.....

Time proves everthings.....

after that day
yes....we keep contact by messages
you wake me up every morning and
saying good night after i work
from you back to your hometown until you back here
i dunno what is our relationship
and i also do not wants to know.....
we are just like that

11 february
520....
through message you said to me.
what should i responds..
i do not know how to say out my feeling
and i can't trust you
because....because a lot of things
do you still remember what i've said at airport before i leave?
can't trust you because your life is too complicated...too many girls?
i knew it before i knew you
i know your friend helping you said the good things...
but i choose to trust myself my feeling
and yes those memories during the trips was so sweet
and never forget it

13 Feb
finally we met at tray cafe
for Valentine's Eve??
we eat and talk....and before i leave
you give me a yellow rose and a gift
which is a wallet.....touched and love it so much<3

14 Feb
you've ask my manager to give me an offday
but sorry i really can't make it
its really not enough staff
that night having supper with friends again
and back hostel
you said you bought a rose again
you passed to me and said to me ''Happy Valentines' day''
yesterday's rose is for Valentines' Eve and today is a true day
that's what you said
i appreciate it a lot a lot...
i dunno is from the true of you or you just get use to those with many other girls
sometime i choose not to know too many things and let it be
but anyway i just thanks....

we keep in touch everydays
and the trust makes me feel close to you
but why we just didn't meet up
you didn't ask me to meet up since actually we can
why are we just message???
and one day
should i said
you had break the trust of me toward you??
you....accidently sent a message which is not for me
and for others girl instead
why i was get mad and angry with you
i didn't even wants to reply your message anymore...
i angry because.....i care???
and that day i know i do care and have feeling to you
thats how you flirt those girls....??
why am i so stupid
finally next day
i do reply your message
you fall sicks....high fever
your friends was telling you are so pity
how i wish i can get there to see you....but i work
and i don't have the right feels anywore....

back to normal
we still contact through message
but i saw the things that i wasn't wanted to see
you.....get close to her
i see you post i see your comment
is that her purpose?
to show off that she is close to you
and the question is
WHY? and...why must HER?!?
she attached to me
is like my close friends...but that is last 2 years story
she was like my sister before
out together works together plays together
but.....at last she had show up the true her
i'm just like a toy
who can be good with when she is in good mood
and been throw at side when don't need
and she
complain to manager a lot a lot of things within our work place
my other friend who works there
also having conflict and wonder why i brought her to work there
i....was confuse at first and still protecting you!!
but at last....
i truly gone through her.....

no one understand her
i thought i've understand her  but no....i'm wrong
i still remember the one who have crush on me had tell me that he likes me
she.....attached to him again
is that what you want to show off to me that you are closer to him better than me
and.....whatever and who cares?!?!
cause do not have any feeling to him...!
But you....
why must you close to her ?

Thats the past......
few days later
you said that have to put relationships with other girls
the trust i have build are truly gone.....
the reason is.....to help your friends who have a guy that annoyed her
is that a good reason?!?
i was asking
why must help...? and why must you....?!?
you want me not to misunderstand.....?
if you do care about my feeling....if you really DO
you won't help that girl...
not because you tell me because you care!!!
why must you tell me all that since i'm not yours and you're not mine?!?!
why.....?

Stop replying your messages from that day....
and the following days
the stories comes.....which i don't even wanted to heard!!!

17F__WE MET

without planning 

without knowing 

and we....met 

same flight same departure time 

unexpected.....same seating row

you sit just besides me.....

i was thinking that my friend who promises me or us to go together 

for the trip but then he fail to go

just because of work....

what a good reason???

i was mad really mad....

but....just a trip so have fun with it...with my others friends....right??

and you...i have saw you before 

and we just know better for each other...

so nothing special...

both of us just reach KK earlier than our geng...5 of us

reach there we just have a shop

you are from Sandakan 

and you know well about KK 

So just trust you

and i just follow you

we shop together most of the shopping the whole morning....

and waiting for the shopping mall to open....silly right??

1st time doing that...

and doing the stupid things

as the auto glass door was not on yet early in the morning 

we were almost knock the shopping mall door

then just saw the people walk through the small door besides...

what a silly stupid us....

and still rmb it was raining non-stop 

can't get back to hotal

we just walk while raining and get back to hotel

my feeling was so weird 

why are this guy doing those stupid things with me....

and whatever i don't care

afternoon our geng was arrive

and shop again.....

we went to Manukan Island

and we snorkeling

my first time

i did't even know how to swim wearing a life jacket 

floating just besides the beach...

feel afraid when can't step on the floor when its too deep

you.....ask me to hold on the life jacket & swim with you

thats fun~!!

i saw a lot of small cute fish rather than the sandy water...lol

and we saw the love shape coral...

how sweet is that..<3

and we saw stingray!!!

its very dangerous and i know it...

but you....suddenly hold my hand...when swim through it

shocked and pass through it

and awake again..i remove my hand 

i know that wasn't right....

but why i have a weird feeling....

you give me a good memory along the trip and i appreciate it....

and when we get back to kuching

''you...cannot find other guys''

thats what i receive

is that means the story begins????

I LOVE SABAH...=))

6am flight....wow i'm flying to KK.... :D 

its beeen a long time to wait this moment...

this is my 1st time to see the sunrise on the flight.....niceyyyyyy<3

with the clouds above and beneath the sunlight

love it so so much...and i knew there will be a good beginning of my KK trips....^_^

KK big mosque.... 

captured when i jz reach KK in taxi...otw to Lavender Lounge=)

after the 5 days KK trip and here come the conclusion=))

there are too many picture that i dunno how to choose....headache nahh here is all my most sweet and unforgettable memories okay i jz summerize up my trips...^,<

1st day reach there all i have is shopping shopping shopping....bought a shoe and a cloth...up there is the silly guy who acc me shopping until leg pain and tired....haha shhhh he didn't know i took this...=P we enter all the shoplet of most of the shopping mall...from KK plaza, Wisma Merdeka, Central point and even stupid enough to sit inside the Suria Sabah waiting the shopping mall open....even the glass door of the shopping mall haven't open yet...zz!!!

this is the next day morning.....feel fresh with the KK air....is that make any differents....yes ofcoz coz i jz throw everything aside and enjoy and release to the max....thats why i like travelling....^_^ am i too exicted that i'm the earliest one to woke up....no no no....they are lazy pig!!! haha...lol 

this is Manukan Island.....!!!! nice view....and that time was raining~~~~

we snorkelling together

i saw a group of nemo....haha a lot of colourfull small cute fish swim around me...that feeling was great....the little cute fish even bites my finger....awwww soo cute>.<

and and i saw Stingray!!!!

goshhhh scary....and Stanley u didn't even know whats that??? grrrr!!!!

i saw love shapes coral too!!!

on the sand....haizzzzz why my camera wasn't waterproof....if not i can't captured all those little cute things and share with you guys....TT

me me me....non-stop capturing=P

group photo....hehe this is my second time riding the boat....love it soooo much!!!

opppsss thats me again....hehe i really really love the air....<3<3

ermmmm this is called Yayasan Sabah....they said it was nice when day time as the reflection of the sunlight make it special....but i prefer night view anyway...

this pic accidently captured Stanley......but nice and sweet right??^^

let shadowing~~~~~@@

here is Tanjung Aru.....a beach!!

haha they was forced by me to have a shadow pic...!!=P 

can guess who are they

chai yen, yen qing, stanley, me and sen lo....^_^

draw some wording on the floor...and yes i love KK very muchiesss....<3

this is where we have our breakfast....i love the birds group fly freedomly~~~~=)

this is Pouring hot spring!!!! lalala....the water is really really HOT!!!! gosh my leg was red and swollen....zzzz 

group photo again....and yaya...is me who holding the camera again...=P

left is the Ladang Teh....i bought few flavor of the there hehe for my mum....the ginger, pandan, and bla bla bla....many....right is the temple....at Sandakan~~~xixi

don't quarrel liao....lol

where is the fish ???

actually they are arguing where is the Dobby located 

sooo lame...hmmmm who lose who chia eat seafood....haha

thats what they said....but lastly yen qing was correct...=X haha 

yu chuan jie.....at Sandakan....park the car at the roadside 

and i can here the wave sounds hit shore....different feeling...=) we eat seafood here....sooo cheap and deliciouse!!!

the cat inside....i ask him to look at the camera and he did!!! hahaah....lol

this is Sabah hotel 4 stars...@@

the second most rated hotel in Sandakan...the 1st is Stanley house....haha where we stay lol

funny~~!!this is what Stanley's friends said...X] 

hmmmm rain rain rain......

but it doen't affect our journey...^_^

here is where we have our breakfast before we are going to the temple...=))

walk inside....its  another view!! 

nahhhh....i love it!!!=))

haha....i got a feeling....saw an innocent boy see what the people doing...jz captured the moment feels that its cute~!

this is at temple...=))

left is back version by Stanley 

right is front version by me....big different...~,~

thank you kepo....yishhhh!!!

group photo again....^_^

i found that we don't have enough group photo leiiii....hmmm next time must capture as much as posible!!!

haizzzz last but not least....at KK airport....we are leaving T_T

so bu she de....but still have other chances and trip right....but stillmiss those moment nehhhh.......appreciates<3<3

hmmmm obviousely this is not captured by me......=.=

thx for being my photogragher...lol

you successfully capture all my stupid face......aduhhhh....speechlesss>.<

Lastly i would like to say that its a memorable trip

full of memories i never have....=)

not only you 

but i also appreciate those memories....

i will never forget.....!!!

looks forward for another trip again...

=)

Deng deng~~!!

early in the morning...haha

take pic again,,,XP

big big flower shop near tune....

hehe....its me with the trishaw ~~

saw this view kinda old century feeling..** lol..

This is called Komtar.....a historical or government building...o.O?? not sure lol...but gt a shopping mall below the building...

Lets start our journey~~~

Yipeee

Feel fresh when walk out of Tune

Wuhoo….

we are searching for breakfast go to Mcd not yet open

at last we bought the kuih at the bustop as our breakfast

cost us RM2…

so we sit at bus station and eat lolzzz so pity….

RM2 kuih....Penang 1st breakfast...lolxxx

their bus station high-tech one wor.....just like the flight what bus is arrive in how many minutes....& leaving in how many minutes....wondering when will kuching have this kind of high-tech system

KUCHING AR WHY YOU ALWAYS BEHIND PEOPLE D...==!!

ah bun is studying the Penang map...

In Penang all the transport we use is bus, bus, bus

1^st we wan to visit Penang Hills

While waiting for the bus a nice Indian uncle work at bus station there

Came to us

Asking where we want to go

And the bad news is Penang Hills the train is under renovation

So cant get there anymore…sooooo SAD T^T

Change destination to Botanical Garden

so go to the bus 

go to our 1st destination-Botanical Garden

Use bus is really takes time la

Most of our time wasted in the bus

==

Haiz

reach there all we can see is only MONKEY..my friends

lolxx there is monkey everywhere…

Botanical Garden is just a simple garden like we have in kch

the special things is only the monkey…haha

so we walk & walk & walk

found that nothing special

so we change our decision

to go kek lok si temple

actually wan to go the Hindu temple there

but we rush in time already lo

so at there wait bus again back to the bus station at jeti

its lunch time~~~

everyone is hungry…tummy sounds already

haha

see this....the back seat of the bus was full...haha because of us...

our group all squeeze at the back...once the Penang people come in....they are just shocked..hahaah..=X

we bought some Penang popular food at jeti...hehe mine is the salted colourfull fruits....it taste sweet..yummy=P

stop for a while then we eat

after that we use bus again straight away go to Kek Lok Si temple… [极乐寺]

once reach there

wow…..

the temple is not as small as I see in the primary sch text book

I still remember

Kek Lok Si temple is very very the BIG!!!

at 1^st we are following the group

but then after that me & shuang always take pic

paisehh

so we go on our own…hahaah

xixi....^_^

twist here twist there

turn here turn there

we just cincai turn around the temple…

I saw lots of turtle, fish in the pond, bla bla bla…

many things

quit fun~!!

and and I’ve step to the highest level of the Kek Lok Si temple!!!

waw…..how many level already ha??….shuang

we got count right

cant remember already

more than 10 I think….haha

my leg already bo lat liao

when reach the upper most level….lolxxx  

and every level we pray..

I can see their fine workmanship & carve on the wall of the temple…

nice~~~ wan to take pic but shuang say better don’t as respect..

so I din took pic there…hmm

me & shuang takes lots of pic there…keke XD

heard that there are a gong where we can make a wish and a tree also

but then no one tell us…

so bad…don’t want sharing d…~,~

me & shuang didn’t even know such a place

so we didn’t go there to make a wish

somehow nevermind…hehe surely will come back again on the future..

and that time I want to 许愿!!! hehe…

at there

I bought a 笑佛 pendent for my mum

to bring lucky..

and a short for my sis

for me myself

I bought a dress, a Aladdin long pant, a travelling bag, & a short pant…

quite a lot

my hand carry the most things in my group hehe

haha…

William  I know you the 1^st one discover me

that I love shopping~~~!! hoho XP

almost the whole afternoon

we spend at Kek Lok Si temple

from visiting, take photo, until bargain…

duhh

tired chin~~~